Spinning wheels while stuck in mud

OK, I realize I said I'd post up pictures for my last post, I will get around to it, but in the meantime I need to get this off of my chest.

My work, while rewarding in terms of how I feel about my work, doesn't seem to be viewed in the same way by my supervisors.

I work with 2 supervisors (they will remain anonymous) and we had a meeting today about my ability to focus, and while most people know me who visit my blog, focus... is not one of my strong points. But anyway, they talked to me about things that I did (like browse the net or watching a video) and things I don't do (like start a huge DS game of Tetris, and apparently distract EVERYONE at work) which I'm getting blamed for anyway.

I'll own up for stuff I'm doing, and thats fine, I do all that stuff in moderation though. The stuff I DON'T do and get blamed for.. wow that REALLY ticks me off!

Perfect example, today we got retakes to do of an old episode we had finished, I had about 30 scenes, but I only got 2 retakes to do. That of which I thought was pretty good. So I do my retakes, and a couple of guys around the office started a game of Tetris DS. So I decide to hop on for a game. So as we're playing, one of my supervisors comes over and says "OK guys get back to work" So I shut off my system and then began to turn around when I hear him say " What, you think this is a joke?" I think someone must have been laughing, but I had put my system down at this point and turned back to my work. about 30 minutes later, I get dragged into that meeting where he pins the blame on me for laughing and that I was responsible for all of that. and this isn't the first time it's happened where I've been singled out. It feels demeaning, to a point where it's almost discriminatory. And I've had just about as much as I can take.

On top of that, I have my other supervisor who knows me from school and I'm sure they've talked amongst each other (the other supervisors) about what I did in school which only works against me. I'm not the most concentrated guy, but everyone is different and it just seems almost like their weeding me out. The other supervisor also works as a teacher at an education institute here in Vancouver, and I can't help but feel like I've got this student teacher type association/ relation with him. and to top it off, since he knows about how I was in school that only means that he's more watchful to what I do during the work day making it feel even MORE like I'm in school, and no I'm not talking University or College, this is High School all over again.


This is kind of 1/2 way into the ice burg of the situation, but I understand that I can do better and will work hard to be better at my job and focus more so I can do better quality work. But what do you do when you think your doing good quality work, you ask all your co-workers how your work is and they say it looks good. You send your stuff in and of a majority of your scenes, none(or only 2 to be specific) come back for major retake work. Yet... your boss can talk your ear off about how my work sucks...

it makes it seem so futile to try harder, but I have to. Not for them but myself. Tomorrow I'm going to talk with one of them so I can get them out of my hair and off my back for a while, the other I'll just have to become a yes man. I am still new to this industry, and I understand I have a long way to go. But the last thing I want to have happen is become bitter in animation which will kill any motivation to want to pursue this field further. And while it seems like the world wants to conspire against me getting into this industry, I'll show myself, and I'll show them exactly why I've come to try so hard to work in this industry in the first place. But I'll do it my way and give it my all.

And now for something completely different!

(Note: pictures will be posted later of stuff.. but in the meantime, the post)

Well it's the 4Th of April and the first time in a while that I've posted something at the beginning of the month. Yup... that's a fact ladies and gentlemen reading this!

Spring is here! well sort of it's still cool outside but with less rain, thank god. I've gotten accustom to rain since I moved out here but man we had it raining and overcast for 3 weeks or something it was pretty miserable.

Any who, I always make it a habit of reading my last post before I post something new and looking back at last post... whoa it was heavy, but accurate to how I felt at the time. So as the title says, it's time for something... completely different.. (If you don't know the reference to Monty Pythons, I suggest you educate yourself on British comedy gold)

Anyway, news news news.. well I'm really busy at work, I've gone up from 1200 to 1800 frames this episode, next episode it'll be 2000 and I plan to see how high I can get with the 2 episodes remaining in Grossology (show I'm working on, it's on YTV and Discovery Channel... I think...)

So money and job are going well, since my last post I've gotten to know more people at the office so I feel that I've now settled in nicely and work life is great! I just need to draw more. recently I've been feeling a little self conscious of my artwork, but I'm sure it'll pass and I'll be back to regular Chan in no time.. wait that means procrastinating.. uh.. scratch that...

I also moved to a new station since last time and I've got a good window view of the city outside but more importantly.. the mountains! the mountains look just stunning when the sun rises every time I'm here at work over night... *cries*

This isn't to brag or anything but we just got a new TV at the house for our MOUNTAIN of CONSOLES (ECHO echo echo...) a nice big ol 50" HDTV and it's.. well fantastic. Plus one of my best friends picked up a computer for it so now we've got computer games and animu to watch on it, but since I work so often I don't get to enjoy it nearly as much, but not entirely a bad thing!

you know what... scratch that.. that TV is the sex.. and I'm pretty much bragging about it anyway... new Command and Conquer 3, full graphic settings.. 50" inches of RTS goodness

Also last week, my bike needed major fixing (I had busted a tire tube but it needed reworking, by brakes weren't braking, my gears weren't gearing, and my handle bar was off kilter, it made for a pretty funny site riding that thing. So I took it in and didn't have it for a weekend. so I had to make it on foot. (Oh noes, the horror your thinking) But it was nice, just walking thinking, listening to music on a nice spring day, afternoon, evening. It was refreshing, but on the flip side, man did it take allot longer to get home then if I had my bike. normally 5 minutes tops, but 15 minutes.. especially when you need to go to the can.. is an eternity, so needless to say I was quite happy to get it back.

Also I don't see why people drive in this city. Unless your going somewhere far or off route, the public transit system is amazingly efficient. And besides... driving in this city is crazy, drivers are either slow or way too aggressive.. (damn Chinese... wait...) and the gas prices on the west coast are.. staggering. we might be one of the countries with lower gas prices on a global scale but man, 4 years ago I was fearing it would hit 80 cents... and now... 1.10.. screw driving, the bike is the way to go when your on the west coast. And with summer around the corner, theres no excuse.

So yeah life is back to normal, feeling much better! but I still need a GF... well maybe not need a... well maybe... ....

But other then that things are on the up and up. I'm looking forward to July when I go back to Ottawa to see family and friends, get a good opportunity to soak it all in before I come back and do the daily grind once again. Also looking forward to my friend Jarrett coming out to the west coast for a job. should be good times, plus he gets to sleep with the TV next to him.. that is.. if he'll actually sleep hahaha!

Anyway, life is good, nothing deep this time, thats why the title of this post is "And now for something completely different!"